Prologue

I am a cloud of auspiciousness. A hundred years ago, when I floated past the Moon Elder's hall, a drunken old man suddenly took an interest in me. He gently tapped me, bestowing upon me the title of an immortal. After the Moon Elder sobered up, he stroked his beard and rationalized, saying: "Hmm, this is a cloud with a connection to the immortals. From now on, you shall be called Little Xiangzi."

It was only that his strike was sudden, and I was unprepared; the round fan I used to defend myself was unexpectedly shattered by the whip.

I was somewhat taken aback by his scolding, and I stared at him intently for a moment: "Haven't you already come out?"

I was momentarily stunned

At this moment, the young man was also knocked dizzy by me. I yanked his hair and shook it violently for a while, causing him to lose his balance and fall to the ground. After lying down for a short while, he quickly regained some of his senses and grabbed my hair, pushing me down to the ground.

My magical power is indeed quite limited. In the rankings of these celestial beings who have cultivated for thousands or even tens of thousands of years, I might not even be considered a speck of dust. Using spells against them feels akin to merely scratching an itch, and I can hardly be bothered to exert that effort to fight. Regardless, the heavenly laws are in place, and he cannot kill me, so I will let him see blood first before proceeding.

The young man was greatly astonished, yet his feet were bound, rendering him unable to move. ... I grasped his shoulder and smiled, saying, "The meat is quite fragrant." Then, without hesitation, I took a bite out of it ...

Unaware of how long the entanglement lasted, and oblivious to how many desks were overturned, it ultimately stirred the matchmaker, who was intoxicated in the back courtyard of the Moon Elder's temple

From then on, I took on the name of a eunuch in the body of a woman, residing in the Hall of the Matchmaker, becoming the spirit child of this old man. He provided me with three meals a day, gave me a little pocket money to buy wine and snacks, and tasked me with guarding the chaotic red threads in the Hall of the Matchmaker every day.

I cannot distinguish whether the surging emotions within me are sadness, anger, or pain; I only feel that today I must strip this brat of his underpants and give him a good spanking to relieve my frustration. I rolled up my sleeves and gathered my hair, which I had been too lazy to tie up for a hundred years, into a bun on top of my head

The youth let out a cold laugh: "What are you?"

I was dozing off, half asleep and half awake, when I glanced at him a few times. The young man in red struggled to pull his head out from the red cloud carpet, and as soon as our eyes met, he immediately became angry: "You little brat, why don't you come over and help me instead of just watching from the side!"

Although I am usually lazy and do not enjoy doing other things, ever since I learned that neglecting my skills would lead to being bullied, I have not fallen behind in my training. After several hundred years, I have achieved a small degree of mastery in my celestial arts. Although his whip strikes are fierce and swift, I managed to withstand them.

I squinted my eyes and scrutinized the young man for a while, saying: "I have heard that the people in the residence of the Star Lord of the Rabbit Day all dress in flamboyant styles and wear proud expressions, with twelve flamboyant individuals in total, each more dazzling than the last, making the heavenly realm envious. I didn't believe it at first, but seeing my fellow immortal dressed like this today has indeed opened my eyes as a poor girl." I looked at the young man's pale face and smiled triumphantly, "May I ask which rank you hold among these flamboyant individuals?"

I was astonished and furious: "You destroyed my belongings and didn't compensate me, yet you still dare to hit me!"

He raised an eyebrow, surprised by my bold resistance: "A mere maid with only a few hundred years of cultivation dares to challenge me, hm, such audacity..." Before he could finish his sentence, I cast a small spell, causing the cloud carpet beneath his feet to become as thick and sticky as a quagmire, trapping his feet deep within. The young man was momentarily stunned, and seizing the opportunity before he could react, I flashed my white teeth and then lunged into his embrace. I cast a small spell, causing the cloud carpet beneath his feet to become as thick and sticky as a quagmire, trapping his feet deep within. The young man was momentarily stunned, and seizing the opportunity before he could react, I flashed my white teeth and then lunged into his embrace.

On that day, a man, resembling a nightmare, fell from the heavens above, landing headfirst into the red cloud carpet in front of the Moon Elder's hall, producing a sound akin to the occasional flatulence that escapes after my intestines churn.

The impudent girl! He waved his hand, transforming the air into form, and a long whip lashed fiercely towards her

"Pay up! Otherwise, I'll tear the meat off!" I called out in a muddled manner. In fact, I believe that on ordinary days, I am still a kind-hearted little fairy. If it weren't for this guy causing my decades of savings to go down the drain, I would never have been so fierce in arguing with him.

He was equally astonished and furious: "How dare you speak to me with such a fierce expression? Shouldn't I slap you? Shouldn't I? Shouldn't I!" With each utterance of 'shouldn't I', he slapped me once, and I instinctively felt a burning pain on my backside that surged to my forehead, transforming into an uncontrollable rage that nearly threatened to burst through the top of my head

The prices in the heavenly realm are not high, but the God of Marriage is exceedingly stingy. The pocket money he gives me on ordinary days is barely enough to buy a few jin of wine, leaving me with little left. This round fan is something I saved for several decades... After pleading with the Weaving Maiden for a long time, she finally agreed to sell it to me at a discount. I haven't even had the chance to admire it for a few days, and this... this bastard actually crushed it for me

He glared at me with resentment, stood up while patting his luxurious attire, and disdainfully looked down on me: "Just by looking at you, it's clear that you are a poor maid from the Moon Elder's residence, lacking discernment."

Although I usually do not have a high regard for the old man Yue Lao, who loves to steal drinks, he is nonetheless my master. We have lived together for several hundred years, with him providing for my food and drink, so we share a familial bond. Family members may dislike each other, but they cannot tolerate outsiders speaking ill of one another

I snap my fingers with a crackling sound: "I am the dark cloud that will cast a shadow over your life. Tremble, young one."

At that time, my overly naive self did not feel that there was anything wrong with this name, so I obediently nodded in agreement

He held a whip in his hand, looking at me with a face full of disdain, a smile on his lips that suggested he was in need of a good reprimand

I lazily yawned, shifted my hips, and settled into a more relaxed position while leaning against the steps. I dug into my ear and said, "No eye crust, but I've got a bunch of earwax from the noise, just take a look." Saying this, I flicked the stuff off my finger.

We fought while rolling, from outside the hall all the way inside, pulling hair, poking nostrils, and pinching ears, without using even a fraction of our skills, as if we were trapped in an obsession with solving problems through brute force, resulting in a truly bloody and brutal scene

The young man turned away in extreme disgust, his eyes overflowing with contempt: "Hmph, the impoverished master indeed raises a poor and shabby girl."

Oh dear! Sister Chang'e! The Moon Elder exclaimed: "The red thread! The red thread is all tangled up!"

After being entangled for a while, saliva began to uncontrollably flow from my mouth, soon mixing with his blood and soaking the red garment on his shoulder. I felt this was somewhat impolite, so I loosened my grip and swallowed all the saliva in my mouth, saying, "I apologize, I did not mean to spit on you. This spot is wet, so I will bite somewhere else." After saying this, I immediately changed the spot where I bit and continued fiercely, saying, "Compensate for the trouble! Otherwise, I will bite harder!" I repeated, "I apologize, I did not mean to spit on you. This spot is wet, so I will bite somewhere else." After saying this, I immediately changed the spot where I bit and continued fiercely, saying, "Compensate for the trouble! Otherwise, I will bite harder!"

Are you a dog demon! No! Are you a turtle! You little bastard! Let go!

The young man was stunned for a while, and I could clearly feel his chest heaving heavily against me. He trembled with anger: "You bite me and still think it's dirty! You think I'm dirty!" Saying this, he folded his long whip several times to turn it into a short whip. Then with a "crack," I felt a numbness in my buttocks, followed by a sharp pain slowly seeping into my flesh, and I let out a cry, releasing him.

"No one has ever hit my backside!" I shouted, my voice sharp. I slammed my head hard against his forehead; this was a move of mutual destruction. His eyes went dizzy, and I began to feel dizzy as well, unable to focus on restraining the spell beneath my feet. The cloud carpet reverted to its original form.

I patted my tightly bound hair and stood on the steps in front of the Moon Elder's temple, holding up my fingers: "1. Compensate. 2. Offer your body to atone."

"Come here," I said while arranging my hair, "two choices."

Day after day, I have unknowingly worked for the Matchmaker for hundreds of years. I thought that in the days to come, I would continue to sit in front of the Matchmaker's hall, counting the drifting white clouds, leisurely passing the time. However, countless predecessors have told me that mundane stories actually waste the readers' time, so I have not disappointed expectations and have created waves.

With my jaw clenched, I exerted more strength. The young man let out a loud shout and then gasped repeatedly. In that moment, he didn't think to use any spells; instead, he grabbed my hair and pulled it back, tangling the hairstyle I had meticulously arranged. I clung tightly to his waist, refusing to let go.